Monday, May 21, 2012

The Dentist

I don't know how to start this but I guess I'll start from the root of the problem. (Pun intended.)

I hate going to the dentist. Who doesn't? I mean do you like some old dude putting his hands in your mouth? How about his tools that he says they're clean? No one likes that. I bet dentists don't even like going to the dentist.

Every time I go, my dentist, lets call him Dr. Dentist, (oh the irony), he finds something wrong.

Me: I brush, I floss. What's wrong Dr. Dentist?

Dr. Dentist: You don't floss or brush enough.

Me: Oh, 2 to 3 times a day isn't enough?

Dr. Dentist: No. It's enough but you don't go to church.

Me: FFS.......

He only tells me those things because he is this super Catholic  Flanders-like man and he found out I stopped going to church. He now tells me to pray plaque away....

What an asshole.

I need a new dentist...

Btw, I wrote this entire post in the office with my smart phone.

Watch out, we got a badass over here.


Sunday, May 6, 2012

Gum, Shoes & Douche bags

Hey people, it's been years! Well just one. I'm back, for now and I'm mad at society, again.

I'm going to talk about gum. Yes the one you chew, but I'm not gonna talk about the chewing aspect. I'm gonna talk about the douche bags who just spit it out on the floor.

Why do you torment people this way? Is it so hard to throw away the gum in the trash? Being lazy is not an excuse because if that's the case, you may as well swallow it.

I speak for most people here when I say this. I don't want to step on your shit. It's annoying when I walk and it's a pain in the ass to remove.

I want to live my life knowing I don't have to look at the ground every second I walk down the street. What if I were to look down while a UFO passes by?

There goes my chance to see a UFO in person....... thanks.


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