Friday, May 6, 2011

How to be a successful BLOGGER!

By following these 'tips', you will soon become a very 'successful' blogger and what I mean by 'successful' is sitting in front of your computer all day and checking your stats.

To begin, you create a blog if you do not already have one. You give it a name people will end up remembering and go ahead and give that name to the address bar.

Oh wait, it's taken? Just put spell it incorrectly, no one will care.

This is the fun part now. You gotta start writing! Write, write, write, write! Write about your life because you know random people you have never met will enjoy that! Also remember the more you write, the more words they will read. But they wont read every word. So thats why you gotta put in pictures. Think of it as The Bible. When you were a kid, you didn't read that, it was too long and confusing, so your parents probably bought you a detailed pictures Bible or something like that. Also make words BIG, like that because they will remember that SHIT. It will be one of the first things they will read.

Ok, out of all I just wrote, you probably only remember reading BIG SHIT....right?

Now you got an image of nice, big, smelly TURD and it hanging of the edge of the toilet seat..... Why a toilet seat you might ask? Because I found this photo of it on the internet.

Anyway, now that you got a great topic to write about, you gotta keep up with this SHIT every day. Don't even think about stopping.

There are some exceptions on other things you can blog about....
Like so:


Alright thanks for following me, today is Friday, and tomorrow is Saturday and then comes Sunday.

People will come to your blog, congratulate you and expect you to return to blogging about what you had put in their minds. SHIT! You thought it was that easy...huh?

Well if they're coming back to read your posts, they like your SHIT!

In the end, your followers will enjoy you talking about your SHITTY life, because it entertains them. One day you'll probably put: "I cant take this SHIT anymore! I just want to die!!!", but you followers will say on your comments, "Hang in there man" or "You'll come through" for one reason only: Who will entertain them. You gotta make them like what you write, even if it is SHIT.

Wasn't this the most SHITTIEST post you have ever read? Even if it did keep you entertained? LOL


  1. I need to write more about shit. Awesome post, even if it DID smell a little funny.

  2. I dunno, it seems I've already forgotten most of this post. I remember something about shit and turds though.

  3. ...but I don't write in my blog.
    With the exception of my latest post. :3

  4. mighty fine turd you have there, sir

  5. I think I happen to write good shit. There are a couple of other blogs with decent shit too, but most of them are just shitty.

  6. Now I can go out in the world and be the shittiest blogger I can be! Thanks man! lol.

  7. trying to get hits off the scatophile crowd?

  8. good tips i think i can hold my own

  9. I just got frightened for a second...I thought that was a dismembered penis sitting on that toilet seat. I am so GLAD to see it's just a big piece of shit!! I've NEVER been so glad to see a piece of shit...

  10. @The Reckmonster: LMAO!!!! Thank God for that!!

  11. Lol, excellent post sir. Yours is one blog I would indeed miss should you stop. @The Reckmonster, Agreed!

  12. It most definitely kept me entertained. I read every single word, not just BIG SHIT, although I laughed at the picture because I've experienced this exact scene in my home with four children during their potty training days. And you've nailed the whole blogging schtick. Actually, at one point, I was thinking, "How the hell does this person know my trade secrets!" Fabulous post! You sure have us figured out!

  13. Yep, that was shit!! But some great advice!!

  14. Mr. Rocks, you're devaluing the sanctity of the all us righteous bloggers who like to think that the world will end if no one reads our posts.

  15. Thats a Turd and a half lol.

  16. LOL!

    Love your blog already, and this is the first post I've read.


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