Friday, April 1, 2011

Brazilian Tourists

At my job we get many Brazilian customers. They seem like the average tourist until they open their mouth or do something stupid. My first experience with a Brazilian customer was when I was just standing around and someone walks up to me and asks me, in an accent, "do you work here?" I reply yes and then they ask "do you speak Spanish?" I reply yes again. Then they start to speak in a drunken sort of Spanish I don't understand, Portuguese!! They said like 15 words and I only understood one, toilet. So I just send them to the bathroom, hoping I was right. This has happened too many times. Not only that but when they talk they sound lightheaded and lost, as if something is missing inside their skulls.

Another thing that happened which had no reason for happening in the first place was this: I was standing at the exit of the store and as the customers are leaving, their bag beeps, meaning that one of the employees forgot to remove the tag from an item. I approach the customers and ask for their bag and tell them that I'll remove the tag and I'll be right back. So I go through the exit door, which closes behind me, leaving the customers waiting their. As I am removing the tags from the items, the fire alarm goes off! The managers are running around looking at what going on as I just mind my own business. Anyway as I'm heading back with their bag, I see the customers stupid face as if they just did something stupid. I then remember there is a fire alarm right next to the door, so I thought to myself, "did this stupid bitch just pull the fire alarm to open that sliding door exit?" That's exactly what happened, and yes they were Brazilian. The fire alarm clearly looks like this----------->
If they could clearly read the 'Push in, Pull down', why the fuck didn't they read the 'FIRE'!!! It's in big fuckin' letters!!! Not only that, but she was pregnant, yes she is procreating. That is the future of the world. Where's the Terminator when you need him...


*Please take no offense to this unless you are Brazilian.

19 comments:

  1. Hahaha, wow. Brazilians. This is just plain ridiculous.

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  2. I saw that documentary called WASTE LAND on Brazil. It's a culture that is alive yet dark at the same time.

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  3. man i love brazil, its still a little crazy, huge divide.

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  4. It's one of the fastest growing economies in the world. Soon they will be a world power. Just sayin'.

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  5. One night in a Rio dance club with those perfectly tanned, exquisitely curved, and deliciously naughty Brazilian women rubbing up on you would change any man's opinion. Well...not the gay ones I guess.

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  6. ^ unless it's a tranny. Isn't Brazil the tranny capital of the world? Some of those guy/girls are convincing as hell, too. Eeek...

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  7. ^ totally agree... but yeah make sure it's just a one stick game

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  8. LOL!!, great post! and there was me thinking your post was going to be about a ladies personal haircut!

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  9. Awesome totally hilarious. everytime I think of Brazil and brazilians I immediately i think of topless beach and brazilian beauties. This is eyeopener for me.
    Big boobs = zero grey matter:)

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  10. they are probably easier to handle than german tourists, since german tourists are the most bit.chiest ever

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  11. haha you will have lots of stories to tell your grandchildren!

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  12. :D great post!

    incredible-mo.blogspot.com

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  13. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  14. aha that was funny. :D

    brasil's official language is portuguese, but speaking and writting is a little different; so they speak and write brazilian portuguese. spanish differs the most from these two, but if there was a sit down where everyone speaked slowly, they would understand each other.

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