Thursday, March 31, 2011

People and their small cars..

Something that really annoys me at my job is when a customers buys like 4 or 5 big boxes, stroller, cribs etc, and then I have to take their stuff to their car and their car is something like this:
"The Ladies will love this!"

When this happens, most of the time, I have to play Tetris with the boxes and their trunk. I have to move the boxes around so they all fit. I fit like 4 in and then the last one doesn't fit and they don't have space in the passenger seat because they decided to bring Grandma. Next time leave Grandma at home. This ain't no picnic! Usually when this happens I do get tipped because I guess the customer sees my frustration and I begin to sweat out there in the hot sun playing Tetris and all. I never thought I would get paid to play Tetris though..... This video below is a good example of what I mean. (It's in Spanish but just watch it)


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Dexter's...

This is a mix of the television shows Dexter's Laboratory and Dexter.

Dee-Deeborah, where are you?

You're mine now....



Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

I'm fried and burnt with....

...math! So todays blog will be a little bit different. I'll be talking about one of my favourite television shows.

The show, Breaking Bad, is about a 50 year old High School Chemistry teacher called Walter H. White from Albuquerque, New Mexico . He has a son with Cerebral Palsy and a wife who is pregnant with an unplanned baby. He recently finds out he has terminal lung cancer after taking some medical exams because he had fainted from coughing too much at his second job, a car wash. His wife's sister is married to a DEA agent and one day after showing interest in a drug bust he had seen on t.v., the DEA agent, his brother-in-law, takes him to a huge Methanphetamine bust. While waiting in the car, he sees an old student of his, sneaking into his car and getting away. Walt figures out that his old student is producing and selling Meth and the next day he shows up to his students house and makes him an offer he can't refuse: Partner up with him, or turn him in. This is were it all starts. From this moment on, everything will change. Before Walter dies from his cancer, he wants to leave his family with enough money to live for the rest of their lives, without them knowing how and where he got it from. Will his wife find out? Will the DEA agent find out? Will the Mexican Cartel like this?

Check out the Pilot episode for free and then decide whether you'll want to find out for yourself!

For this link below, wait for the ad in the middle to say (close ad) then click it to begin watching.
http://www.free-tv-video-online.me/player/zshare.php?id=741065025d4479b1

For U.S only: (it's also free)
http://www.amazon.com/Pilot/dp/B0012QTT4O/ref=pd_vodsm_B0012QTT4O+

Minisode of Pilot:

Remember, it's the just the Pilot Episode, give the show a chance! It didn't get canceled for a reason, it's very good!

Enjoy and have a great Tuesday.

Monday, March 28, 2011

Angry Birds The Movie

Directed by Michael Bay



I serious don't doubt that this will happen. They also will probably make it into a video game adaptation....oh wait...

Sunday, March 27, 2011

I'm thinking of buying this....

..and just pointing it and random girls at my college, well not random, but, you know..

Totally gonna SPAM some buttons here...

And since it's powered by 'Positive Thinking', I think it will work just fine. =D


Friday, March 25, 2011

The Roach is in the bag....

...and the bag's in the river!

It's a pretty big roach!
About two days ago I was in my bathroom and I hear something fall on the top of my roof where the lights are. Turns out that a cockroach fell from the pipes to the plastic board panels that go in front of the lights. So for the past two days I've seen that cockroach twitch around because it landed on its back and it can't flip over. I don't want to take off the plastic panel because I want it to die first (PETA is gonna be on my ass for sure on this one, especially after the animal crackers incident). So now every time I go in to my bathroom, I knock on it to see if it's still alive. If I tap on the panel and it starts to twitch, that means it was sleeping and I woke it up.

So now I will want all of you to try and estimate how long this cockroach will live for.

A day, a week, a month??? Will he live longer than Muammar Gaddafi? Are they related??

They're probably cousins....

Anyway, go ahead and vote on the new poll and see by the time of it's death, if you were right!

Thursday, March 24, 2011

How to be a successful....

Hitman!

Being a Hitman is not the difficult, especially if you've had training.

Yeah, nobody will notice, get it? No-body!?

  1. Never get caught: Always be aware of your surroundings and always have a plan B, this means kill everyone!                    
  2. Use lighting to your advantage: Always move around in dark areas. If lights are one, find a way to turn them off, this means shoot the lights off!
  3. Notice distinct behaviors: People tend to do things in a pattern. Make your move when they are in the process, this means kill them while they are taking a shit!
  4. Throw money on the floor: It always distracts Jewish people.
  5. Change your appearance: It helps so people won't notice the barcode on the back of your head.
  6. Hide the bodies: So no one finds them!



Try to get some one else to get blamed for the kills!

Here's your toast!
*Play Hitman:Blood Money, push people into shark tanks =)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

So I was walking down the street....

....eating my animal crackers when out of nowhere I'm getting chased by members of the organization PETA, who were protesting in front of a fish bait store. 





I ran and ran, throwing the animal crackers on the floor, slowing them down as they stopped to pick them up. I ran for about half a mile and hid in an alley. As I had thought this chase was over, I was wrong. I had walked into a dog fight. There you see me running away from two pit bulls and what looked to be a football player! So I ran towards the PETA members who are still picking up the crumbs of the animal crackers I had tossed and as I run by I had remembered that I still had a Slim Jim in my pocket, so I place the Slim Jim in one of the PETA members' back pockets so the pit bulls get distracted and go after them. The plan had worked too well! The pit bulls were mutilating the PETA members as they did not fight back to achieve their goal. The football player stayed and watched the fight and began betting with other people who were passing by.

As I'm walking back home all tired and sweaty, I see a SWAT van race to the opposite direction of me and I looked surprised to see it, though I knew were it was going... I knew this wasn't going to end pretty and I thought to myself, all this could have been avoided if I stayed home that day.



Moral of the story: DON'T EAT ANIMAL CRACKERS OUTSIDE!

*I had an Imagination binge and that's how I came up with this!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Doctors that smoke

Isn't it ironic how some doctors smoke? Doctors are people that save lives but yet some are killing themselves slowly. It's just pure ignorance if you ask me. They probably tell their patients that smoking is bad for you and it gives you lung cancer and emphysema, then right after that they go outside for a cigarette break.

Now is that ignorance or stupidity?

Monday, March 21, 2011

About the Fifty.....

Well it's quite an interesting story. The day was like any other. I was just standing there doing my job, greeting people. Minding my own business. Customers are coming in and out at all times! It was a busy day.

Out of nowhere, well the guy walked in through the entrance, this guy walks up to me and as I am about to offer him a cart, he tells me, "I found this outside." He shows me a credit card wrapped around a receipt. So I ask him where exactly did he find it, and we go outside the store and shows me exact spot. Right in between the two big stores. So I thought about it and asked him if I can looks at the receipt and he gives it to me and I take a look and it says Target. I tell him the closest Target around here is like 15 miles away; and as I had opened the receipt, $50 dollars fell out in two fives and two twenty dollar bills.




As I pick up the money, I tell him, "Well this is what we can do. We can split the money, or you can keep it, your call and I destroy the Credit Card, because that's what I would want if someone found my card on the floor." He agreed to all of it, giving me half the money. So we shook hands and he left. I went back inside the store and immediately destroyed the card by cutting it into a billion little pieces with a scissor and throwing it away in different trash cans.

I went back to my spot and thought to myself as I greeted another customer what I would do with the money. So as time went by, about 15 minutes later, the same guy returns to me and tells me, "Here, you can have the other $25 dollars, I don't need them. I am happy with my life and this is a blessing maybe you should have."

I accepted the money and told him "God bless you!" HAHA!

So I ended up writing it in my tip book because money is money.

Anyway, all those tips are contributing to my 21st birthday, which is in less than two months. Let's see how many more tips I can earn by then!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Tipping

No no no....Not tipping cows.... Tipping people at their jobs. You know, like "Hey thanks for helping me out, here's $3!"


I've been working for 6 months so far at my first job. Every now and then I get a tip from a customer who I helped take something to their car, and sometimes I don't get shit.

Usually you would think that the American stereotype with the big truck that buys 3 strollers, a crib and a truck of Huggies would tip you. No. "Good job chief." is what they say. So I think, this doesn't make any sense. I once was tipped by this lady whose car was a total disaster! I felt sorry for accepting her $5 tip but it would have been rude of me not to.

Yes I write my tips down. Total= $73.00
That above you is all the tips I have received within 6 months of working. What does that show you? People gotta give a little more you know! A thanks doesn't cut it either! Now a dollar, that would make me happy you see.

I don't beg for tips or anything but it's sure a nice feeling to get paid and I'm sure it's as nice the feeling you get when someone carries a heavy item to your car!!

"Would you like it in the back?"

Friday, March 18, 2011

Real Life Super Mario Kart

This video is just awesome!

(It's also a good excuse for me not to make one of my normal ranting posts on teachers, bathrooms or bums.)

Thursday, March 17, 2011

haPPy st patricks day!!@11!11

ANd a happy hanOverd!!!!11@21!

Teachers

One more thing that The Night Falls pointed out is that some teachers also limited going to the bathrooms 3 times a month. 

Who thought of this being a good idea?

Anyway on to the semi-new subject : TEACHERS

What I wonder is how the school board hires these teachers? Who's in charge? Do they do a mental check on them? Sometimes I think not, well most of the time I think not.

The asshole himself !!
There's this one teacher I had for math in high school, twice. His name was Mr. Chieng and he was an asshole chink! It wouldn't matter if you do all the work in the class right, he would still give you a C. He didn't care about you. Anyway this guy was an asshole( I will just call him asshole from now). He dressed like if he would buy used clothes at a garage sale or the salvation army and he would end up looking like a gay sailor. He was also a very rude person. In high school, some teacher are sympathetic and let you turn in work late, but this guy was like no thank you I've already got enough toilet paper. 

You know how some kids fall asleep in class? This asshole would get a cowbell and start making noise right next to your head, or even worst, grab a text book and just bang it on the desk next to you! 

He also would say that he used to be a doctor in Cuba, but he killed someone and thats why he became a math teacher.

Also he said that he has a big lawn and he doesn't like to mow it so he bought a donkey to eat the grass. The donkey did a good job that he decided to buy another one and now he has like 7 donkeys! That was probably the only math related thing I ever learned from him. 

Donkey + Donkey= 7 Donkeys, thanks.....

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Bathrooms and Teachers Part 2

OK, aside from that experience, that wasn't the last time this sort of issue popped up in my school experience. Let's move forward in time from this story to high school.

You still have to ask for permission! WTF! What happened to learning how to become mature? Oh wait, (looks at bathrooms floors) yeah, they still piss on the floor. Anyway, I had totally passed that phase and that was the only time I had ever done that, on purpose.

Here in high school you have to ask the teacher for permission and then she/he has to give you a hall pass. Many teachers have their method of making hall passes. Whether it's an official yellow looking paper signed by the teacher, or some sort of big item, like a Viking helmet so it won't get lost. I still find it ridiculous and a waste of time when they do this. What does that little paper or miscellaneous object mean?

It means that you are either going to take a piss, or take a shit, or drink some water, or walk around the school away from class. So as long as a hall-pass monitor, or security sees you with either thing, it's OK.

Fucking retards.......
Typical High School person.

Some teachers recycle those little papers or items and we all know how hygienic high school students are: *Go to bathrooms and walk out, then give back hall pass with residue of piss or/and shit or/and cum(yes, there are chronic masturbators in high school) hands.*

I'm glad those days are over. In college it's more like walks out door, goes to bathroom, washes hands *no soap* walk back to class hand sanitizer.

But still some people don't wash their hands. Check out this blog and post about the sole experience of washing hands, in Idaho:
My Own Private Idaho

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Teachers & Bathrooms

Remember when you used to go to school and you had to ask for permission to go to the bathroom? Now what bullshit is that? What if you the teacher said no and you really had to go?

A good sketch of the incident.

Well when I was young, this was 2nd grade and the bathroom would be right inside the class, I would ask if I could go and the teacher said no to me once and that's all it took for me to become a nuisance. One day when she let me use it, I went in there and pissed all over the floor, on the toilet paper and everything. I came out washed my hands and went back to my seat. Then a couple of minutes later is was lunch time. As we go to lunch I see the bathrooms window is open (a little window on the top to let air in) and there are people outside cleaning the walls with a hose. When we come back from lunch, to my surprise, the teacher is mad at everyone and punishes the whole class by making them stand up and face the wall. Now after 10 minutes of standing up against a wall, kids start to cry saying it wasn't me and so forth. After 30 minutes, I don't remember how well this happened but someone mentioned to the teacher that the little window was open and that when they were cleaning the walls, water got inside by the window and that's what wet everything. I then remember everything was alright and the teacher was drying the bathroom and throwing away the wet toilet paper(with her hands, yeah she touched my piss). That should teach teachers to let kids take a piss, if not they end up cleaning piss and touching it too.....

Monday, March 14, 2011

I wish.....

...this was my room.



How awesome would that be?

Anyway, how was everyones weekend? Anyone walk their dogs or should I say took them out to take a shit?

lol

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Have you ever noticed.....

..that people usually don't mean what they say?
For example:
"I'm going to walk the dog" does not mean walking the dog. It mean "I'm going to take the dog outside so it can take a shit."

Even the president does this.


I'm not gonna lie, I even say that. But from this moment on, I will be frank with everyone and I will always say things how they are. No more walking the dog.......
Now it will be taking the dog outside to shit on the neighbors lawn. =D

Friday, March 11, 2011

I am aware...

That there has been a tsunami that has hit Japan today (or yesterday). I wish the best to the families of those affected by it and that they recover quickly.

What I don't get is why people say  "God help us or bless them" or something like that. Aren't they aware that God did create the Earth and that's how it works with it's tectonic plates. I'm not doubting God's existence, but only his power to change things. I see God as The Wizard of Oz.


A big scary face that tells you to do things, but in reality, can't really do that much. Like Frankenstein and his monster, he created it but thats it, he cant do anything about it...

So maybe tectonic plates was a bad idea.....just saying....

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Dead Space (continued)

Right now I am attempting to beat the game on IMPOSSIBLE!!!!

This is not gonna end pretty.....


Wish me luck! It's very difficult!

Cars with sensitive alarms....

ARE ANNOYING AS FUCK!!!!

I'm walking to my job and to get there I have to walk through the parking lot. So as I am passing the parked cars, I'm not too close to any of them, this black pickup truck just makes a loud ass noise that scares the shit outta me! I go up to the car and kick it and thats when the alarm just goes off. I hope that assholes car loses its battery and gets towed!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I had a weird dream....

In my dream I was working and then I go to the bathroom and when I look at the mirror...

Wa-Wa-Wee-What the fuck??

I'm in charge of......

...the props for the next play in my college. I must go into the prop room and come out with all the props listed on a paper. The play I'm doing the props for is called 'The Front Page'. It takes place in 1928. I must find the props from that era. These include a roll of money, hand guns, handcuffs, pocket watch, etc! The prop room is a pretty big place and some of the stuff isn't even organized.


An example of what the prop room is like.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

The reason for the Satchel.....

Some of you are wondering, why would he want a satchel for? Isn't it just a purse?

NO it's not a purse. As you can see, I want to get an exact replica of the one Indiana Jones had in the films. I am a great fan of the movies and getting anything 'Indy' is a must!


I want it because I think it would go great with my Fedora, Brown Leather Jacket and Whip. Not only that, it's a great place to put all the things that get annoying in pockets now; keys, wallet, cell phone, iPod, PSP, etc!

Also, I love WWII and I would like to begin collecting memerobillia and replicas. This is a replica of a gas mask bag and the funny part is, Indiana Jones has one of these bags and these bags were invented during WWII even though the first movie 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' was in 1936 and WWII clearly started in 1939! He also had the stachel in the prequel 'Temple of Doom'!

On the topic of Indiana Jones, I can't really say I have a favourite because I love the first one and the third one equally. The first one for being the one that started it all and the third one for having Sean Connery as his father! Both the first and third film have epic fight scene, whether on a moving truck, fist fighting near a moving plane, or on top of a moving tank.

Did you know....


...that this man has the power to turn off the internet in the United States when he pleases?


Thats a really scary thought!

Do you think he should have that power?

Monday, March 7, 2011

None of you guessed what I was buying.

Hint: Indiana Jones wears one. LOL

I ended up not getting it because I thought it got over priced with all the bidding. Anyway I found another one and I'm just gonna camp it and bid at last second. Hopefully I'll get that one.

eBAY

So yesterday, around the night, I'm bidding on eBay for the first time because I saw this cool item and it only had one bid so I said, hey why not and it's cheap. So as I place my bid, right away it said I was over bid! So I tried 2 more times and I was still getting over bid! WTF!! Anyway now I play the waiting game to see if I can bid at the last second and still win that item since it is still fairly cheap. If I win the item, I will show you all pictures of it when and if I get it. I'll keep you updated on the next post. If you want try and guess what the item is and I'll feature your blog in on of my future posts if you get it right!

STOP OVERBIDDING ME!!!

Sunday, March 6, 2011

I beat Dead Space!

It was a hell of a game! So much fun and now I'm playing it a second round to get the rest of the weapons upgraded and to get the last suit. When I'm done with that, I'll attempt to try and beat it in it's hardest difficulty! While on it's hardest difficulty, you may only save the game 3 times and if you die you have to start from the beginning of the level! So this is insanely hard and I must save the game in intervals of 4 levels per save due to the fact that there are 12 levels!


Scratch my back and I'll scratch yours?



Wish me luck!

Memorization

I don't know about you guys (and girls), but I have to memorize lines from scripts for my acting class. When I first began I thought to myself, "Wow, I can't memorize all these pages!" But it turns out I can and it was rather simply really. All it took was repetition. Just repeat and repeat and eventually it will get stuck in your head. Now this is a great technique and it works wonders in little to no time. That worked well with modern and contemporary plays but now that I am working on Shakespeare, It's not working as fast as I thought it would. The language is quite, a nuisance. It's just that I am not used to speaking in that way and sometimes It just sounds to me as if I were speaking gibberish! I'm sure of that if I continue to repeat, the lines will get memorized. They funny part about this is that sometimes when I wake up, I find myself saying the lines of the script.




I sleep rehearse! 

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Charlie Sheen bangs seven gram rocks...

..and finishes them because thats how he rolls. He has one gear.



"Dying's for fools."-Charlie Sheen


Anyone wanna bet this fool is not gonna make it till the end of the year? Place your bets......GO!

Friday, March 4, 2011

Dead Space

I recently got the game on Monday and I seriously have not stopped playing it. It's an epic game! The game came out in 2008 but at that time I didn't have an Xbox360, so I didn't pay attention to all the new games coming out. But now that I have one, I'm getting all the good old games and playing them all.

Seriously, who doesn't love dismembering aliens' limbs?
It reminds me so much of Half-Life, the aliens remind me of head crabs and such. And it's soo gory! I usually don't like dying in video games but in this game, I enjoy watching the main character get ripped to shreds by anything!

I hope all of you enjoy your Friday! I know I will!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

100 Suscribers!

It's awesome how in such a short period of time I have gotten so many subscribers. I'd like to thank you all for contributing in following me and keeping up with my... exquisite posts. In celebration, I've ordered some people to build me a sculpture to represent such an important day in blog history.

PETA has contacted me......

...nah just kidding!! Some of you think PETA should go for those guys that gave that hamster Four Loko. But what PETA should really go after is the guy that kicked the owl at a Football(soccer) game in Columbia. That poor owl died hours later from shock.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bogota - Colombia's most famous owl died Tuesday, after being kicked by a footballer during a match in an incident that caused international outrage.

Panamanian defender Luis Moreno, of Deportivo Pereira, apologized for having kicked the mascot of the Barranquilla club Atletico Junior during a Colombian championship match between the two teams Sunday. Various football and environmental authorities are contemplating sanctions, but harm to the animal turned out to be definitive.

Humberto Mendoza, director of Barranquilla's Department of the Environment, said the owl died at the vet's of a likely capture- related myopathy, an illness generated by the accumulation of lactic acid due to excessive manipulation.

The owl, who lived on the roof of Atletico Junior's Roberto Melendez stadium, was part of a group of birds that are the club mascots. The owls regularly fly around during games at the stadium, and they get a lot of attention from TV cameras.

On Sunday started to fly around as usual. This time, however, it landed on the pitch and was hit by the ball, leaving it apparently stunned.

Moreno, 29, a defender, approached the bird and kicked it out of the pitch, which unleashed the anger of local fans. The crowd shouted "murderer" at the player, while several fellow footballers scolded him.

Police went to Pereira's hotel Monday in Barranquilla and notified Moreno that administrative proceedings had been launched against him by Barranquilla environmental authorities for possible animal abuse.

The authorities said that he faces anything from a fine to 45 days in jail.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think his punishment should be to drink 12 Four Loko's and get kicked in the balls, repeatedly.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Four Loko

For those who wanted to know what Four Loko was:
It is a line of alcoholic energy drinks.
The name "Four" is derived from the drink's original four main ingredients: alcoholcaffeinetaurine, and guarana. It also contains carbonated water, sugar, and natural and artificial flavoring.


People basically drink it for one purpose only...To get you fucked up. It get's you drunk and keeps you up.


8 delicious flavours



What it equals to.





I hope this clears things for everyone.



The effects of Four Loko......

...on a hamster!



Tuesday, March 1, 2011

One and a Half Men

You've probably heard about the cancellation of the show, Two and a Half Men because of Charlie Sheen's eradicable behaviour. I occasionally turn on the TV and watch it, it's not a bad show but it's also not a show that I would keep up with.

If I were the producer of the show and Charlie Sheen would ask for what, $3 million per episode, I would clearly tell him to leave the building and go back to his whore house. First of all, he's not that great. All he does is have sex with women by the hundreds(on the show). The producers can simple A. Kill his character like they did in Scary Movie 4 or B. Kill his character. End of story. Then they can find another actor, possible better, to take his place. But in the end, I just don't give a fuck about Charlie Sheen.

The Best Of Kicking Rocks

The Pile