Monday, February 28, 2011

Races have winners.... This one, doesn't..

You've probably heard of it. It's called Race for the Cure. To find the cure for cancer. There's no money in cures. There's only money in treatments and medicines and all of that. They've probably found that cure ages ago. It's just not in their best interest to release it. It's always about the money. Thinking a little bit harder, they probably created the disease just to make money. They're scamming all of us! Stealing our lives, money and time!

-Some guy with Aluminum foil on his head.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

It's Sunday!

So let me sit in my tree chair and relax while wearing my crocs.
Also check out these blogs that have caught my attention:

In no particular order..

Thingamajig: Takes pictures of things, makes them small and you gotta guess what they are!

Conqueso: Likes to stitch video game characters!

The Angry Lurker: Has awesome miniature scale figures!

Me And My Thinking Cap: Thoughts and poems!

Bar Science: Learn great tricks to perform at a Bar to attract the ladies!

Merkal: Random, Awesome, Funny pictures!

Well This Doesnt Suck: The name totally gives this one away, doesn't it?

Custom Pong Tables: This one gives it away too!

Simply Scotches: Learn how to enjoy a great Scotch with this blog!

Bulking Jobra: To get buff and look at randomness!

All Around Toto: Lately, it's about dangerous bridges!

Stuff That Matters Stuff That Dont: Awesome stuff.


Saturday, February 26, 2011

Inglourious Basterds: Live Play, Italian Scene

This is about a year and a couple of months old. It was the final project for my theater appreciation class and we had to perform a scene from a play, TV show or movie. We ended up picking Inglourious Basterds! This movie had recently come out not that long ago, so it was fresh. I play Enzo Gorlami in the white tux and this was my first time acting on stage, in front of people. We got the costumes, props and we learned the lines from a rough draft script we found on the internet and this was the result:



A few days after posting this video on Youtube, I noticed someone commented that they found this video on Eli Roth's Twitter. Eli Roth is in the actual movie so I went to check and it was true! He actually saw this video and liked it so much he tweeted it!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Something that really annoys me......

The things customers do sometimes really annoy me. Some customers buy one little thing and they put it in the cart and they take the cart outside with them instead of grabbing the bag and leaving the cart in the store. They don't have ANY consideration for the person that has to go outside to the scorching sun and humidity and pick up the carts! That's not all, they also decide to empty out the trash they have in their cars into the carts! So when I go out and get them, I find all sorts of shit. Newspapers, cardboard boxes, fast food cups and diapers to say the least...

Be considerate people! Think of others!

Why don't they take their 'shit' out of the carts??

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Self Made Joke

If you are religious, discretion is advised, I don't want to offend anyone. This is a joke a came up with while I was working. Keep in mind I do stand up for 8 hours and greet people and my mind seems to go around thinking random thoughts. Tell me what you think!
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A man invites his friend to his house. Once there he introduces him around, it is a big house. They get to the study and it has a huge book shelf.

The owner says, "These are my science fiction novels."

His friend asks him, "Why is the Bible next to Star Wars?"

The owner responds, "I couldn't find anything between the B and S."



"I couldn't find anything between the B and S."

Monday, February 21, 2011

Egyptian father names his daughter “Facebook” after revolution..

An Egyptian man has decided to show his appreciation towards Facebook for its role during the revolution in his country by naming his firstborn daughter Facebook.


A young man in his twenties wanted to express his gratitude about the victories the youth of 25th of January have achieved and chose to express it in the form of naming his firstborn girl “Facebook” Jamal Ibrahim (his name.) The girl’s family, friends, and neighbors in the Ibrahimya region gathered around the new born to express their continuing support for the revolution that started on Facebook. “Facebook” received many gifts from the youth who were overjoyed by her arrival and the new name. A name [Facebook] that shocked the entire world.


Egyptian dictator Muhammad Hosni Sayyid Mubarak was in power from 1981 until February 11, 2011, when he resigned after 18 days of protests. Facebook has been credited for helping organize regime-ending protests in the country. Although the Egyptian revolution saw some planning done via Twitter, direct text messages, and other forms of electronic communication, Facebook has come to symbolize all the forms of social media that people used to organize the revolutions in the Middle East.


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My thoughts:


Hey, at least he didn't name her Zukerberg, right?




Zukerberg after reading this post.







Sunday, February 20, 2011

Been Busy!

Sorry for the lack of not posting yesterday but I've been very busy! When school and work and your personal life gets all bundled up, thats when you want to jump of a bridge instead of untying it! Just keep it simple and remember this:

And today's the last day to vote on a super power on the poll above! Don't forget!

Friday, February 18, 2011

And it's....


09/08/06




We'll some of you guess correctly! It is The Rock!
I've had several opportunities to meet him and this picture to the left is the first time I got to meet him. My dad had just interviewed him that same day and I couldn't go to the interview but The Rock told my dad that he was going to the red carpet premiere and if he sees him he would come to take a picture with me. So as we are waiting there in the crowd of people, The Rock finally enters and starts walking among the carpet towards the movie theater, passing us. I started to panic! But all of a sudden he turns around, sees my dad and comes towards us. Best photo opportunity ever!

01/18/10

Four years later, my dad was summoned to interview him once again(his fourth time). This time I was able to go! I remember when I first met him, I loved wrestling at that time, but not as much as it was when it was called WWF. The attitude era has to be the best. It was broken tables everywhere, people jumping from ladders, hell in a cell, old ladies giving birth to hands, you name it! Now it's meh... But he has come back for good supposedly..







So what do my followers think of wrestling nowadays? Too PG ? Not enough blood?

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Nothing Interesting....

today... But tomorrow I'll make it up to you followers with a surprise!

I'll give you a hint! Can you guess who this is next to me????

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

I found this on......CRAIGLIST??

Ok, this story is quite amusing. It gets very detailed but still its funny.
Just Remember.... THIS IS NOT MY STORY!!!!!!



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I have recently made a mistake in my life, and I offer my story to you, that you may learn from my error. It all started, as many things do, with me having trouble shitting.

No, I was not constipated; this was not a regularity problem but a matter of technique. It seems my ass-hair had grown to such a length that tiny grogans were constantly getting tied up in the matted jungle between my asscheeks. It led to much frustration, with me KNOWING that I still had something to drop, but unable to shake the tenacious turd loose from its butthair dwelling. Eventually I would have to do two things: either reach down with some paper and try to pinch off the lingering loaf (which required careful precision to avoid smearing the creature all over my rear, especially since I had no way of seeing what I was doing) or just go for broke, start wiping, and hope that I could remove all the leftover fecal matter before the toilet paper reached its Can't-Be-Flushed threshold.

I was contemplating this problem, when I had what seemed at the time to be a bright idea. "Hey! This is my butt and my butt-hair, right? So why don't I just eliminate all the hair, and then my grogans will flow out like beer from a keg!" I said to myself. It is a statement that will go down in history with a lot of other regretted statements. "How many Indians could there be?" said by General Custer. "Looks like a good day for a drive!" by JFK. "There! America On-Line now has complete Usenet access!" by some idiot system tech. Such was my anal shaving idea.

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occassionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Little did I know.

I now have a great respect for anal-hair. Like everything in this world God created, it has its mighty purpose in existence. It was only after I had removed it that I started to learn how much I had been taking it for granted. For one, it provides friction. I learned this the next day, when I walked out into the sun heading for class. After climbing two flights of stairs and starting to sweat, I started to notice something unpleasant. The sweat was accumulating in my crack, and was causing the unpleasant sensation of my two asscheeks sliding past each other with every step. I thought about going to the bathroom and wiping it off, but had to get to class. Eventually, I thought, it would dry.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic shit- molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky shit/sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.

Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering shit/sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own shit blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: "It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks."

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair - ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.

As if that wasn't enough, I am now enduring further torture. As anyone who has ever shaved anything knows, when hair is first growing in, it comes in as stubble. Imagine your ass having the texture of a brillo pad. Well, that is what I am dealing with now. It is a hellish torture, and there are many times when I just look out the window and contemplate why I shouldn't just jump out and get it all over with in one fleshy splat, rather than endure this constant agony.

Friends, DON'T SHAVE YOUR ASS-HAIR!
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So what did you think about it? I couldn't stop laughing!!!!
Comparing his fart to a lost gerbil was just classic!!!

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Amazing Spiderman













































What do you think of the new costume for the reboot? I think its great! Looks as good as the other ones. If you pay close attention to the wrists, you can see the web shooters, meaning that this version of Spiderman will not get web abilities from the spider bite, but he will create this himself just like in the comics!!

From looking at the IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0948470/, looks like the villains in this film might be (not sure yet), The Lizard, Venom, and Proto-Goblin? So this Proto Goblin will be the test subject of Norman Osborn? And lets hope they don't fuck up Venom..... again.... Remember, we still have to wait till 2012 to see this flick, so lets hope for the best and if it fails, remember we got The Dark Knight Rises that year as well and that movie can't go wrong!

So tell me what you think about the costume!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Forget Valentines Day...

Have you ever noticed that Crumbled Bleu Cheese is less expensive than the normal packaged one? Isn't there more work put in to crumbling it in the first place?




Think about that? Also how do you eat your Bleu Cheese, if you do? I eat it in pizza, pastas, salads and toast.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Passing the word around..

Today I'm gonna take a break from writing something random and just show you some great blogs and sites that are out there and have caught my attention.


He writes about music you've probably have never heard of! He has good taste in music and goes from progressive rock to folk to jazz to classical and beyond! Check out his blog!


Second up we have: http://jomak412.blogspot.com/
He's got posts about how epic life truly is! I think I've said enough with that lol...


Third up we've got: http://nemeink.blogspot.com/
He writes about the random cool shit this world has to give! Ranging from a story to fake atm receipts, check it out!


And last but not least: http://www.colugnatti.com/
He's an artist who paints very beautiful paintings! He also sells his works if you are interested, so go check them out!


Saturday, February 12, 2011

Popcorn and Leaks


Right after they put in the new piece and before removing all popcorn.

Workers have been fixing the roof in my room the whole day, which a leak had happened about two weeks ago and had destroyed the popcorn and it looked awful. It looked like it was going to fall any minute. They ended up removing all the popcorn because applying popcorn is a pain in the ass. So now my roof is as good as new and next week they will paint it. As for how the leak started, it was because since I live in a townhouse with apartments on top of it, the apartment on the fourth floor decided to make my night a living hell and keep me up all night emptying out the water from pots and pans.

All popcorn removed and cement drying up.

    

Friday, February 11, 2011

Wigley the Hutt

Today I'm passing the word out on a great stop-motion animator from YouTube. His name is Hutt Wigley. You can tell he loves this hobby so much because he puts so much effort into his work that it keeps getting better all the time. He loves making animations of Indiana Jones, Star Wars and he has even come up with his own ideas! He recently made a spoof of the Volkswagen Darth Vader commercial the aired during the super bowl.








Here are some of my favorites that he has made during the years:

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Math, what is it good for ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

You all have to agree with me on this. It only makes life more complicated than what it already is, especially if you are in school, or even worse, college/university. They make you learn algebra, calculus, trigonometry and more useless shit you don't need in life and could live without it. Some classes get worse like, "you CAN'T use a calculator." After hearing that, ALL of us say "Oh shit." We use calculators in life all the time, why can't we use them during a test. It's funny when you ask, say, your parents for help with your math hw, they're are probably like ooh shit and they start taking out their iphones and go to yahoo answers to see if they can help you, not like you didn't do that before asking them for help. Math should be an elective. It would make life easier for everyone. Less stress, less suicide, better lives, longer lives. I think if math were to be removed from the face of the Earth, there would actually be peace on Earth. What's the point on learning how to read a Mayan calendar? Don't they already know what it says? The Mayans ain't gonna make anymore calendars in the first place. When Newton created Calculus, I bet he didn't know he was gonna fuck people over. I'm glad that SON OF A BITCH died a virgin. He should have kept that shit to himself. Motherfucker..... never got a chance to eat some pi....

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

60 FOLLOWERS!!!

After only two weeks of blogging I've already got 60 followers! You guys and girls are awesome!

I also want to share this with you.

Notice the 13 people retweeted it. (12 Apostles, Jesus)


What is The Flash worried about?

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

IF there is an apocalyspe in 2012.......

..what would you like to happen?

Would you want there to be zombies? How about an alien invasion? Or something like in the Bible like a plague or a great flood?

If I were able to choose it, I would choose the Zombie Apocalypse. First of all killing zombies would be fun and I think we would survive this better than aliens invading us.

Obviously the first thing that would happen is people are gonna find out and then go on Facebook, Twitter, etc and just write about it. You gotta be prepared! Get a baseball bat or something and have it sitting at your doorstep. But how would this outbreak spread. Hopefully the government isn't making some sort of serum to make this come true.









The most believable apocalypse would have to be the Alien invasion. I mean look how many photos and videos there are of UFOs and stuff like that. This video was recently shot in Jerusalem and from different angles!




So what do you think is going to be this 'Apocalypse' we have been hearing about since the creation of Earth?

Monday, February 7, 2011

Working as a Doorman

As I was taking my break outside the store just leaning up against a wall, a fellow employee passes by and says "So this is what you do during break? 'Cause this is what you do during work."

WIN

Friday, February 4, 2011

A Day in the Life of a School Janitor



-4:00 AM     Wake Up
-4:04 AM     Eat breakfast
-4:11 AM     Shower
-4:20 AM     Smoke a blunt
-4:32 AM     Head out
-5:01 AM     Start work
-5:10 AM     Go to janitors closet
-5:17 AM     Clean toilets
-5:29 AM     Clean walls
-5:47 AM     Mop floors
-6:00 AM     Meet up with other janitors and gossip about what goes on. and schedule next protest
-6:34 AM     Mop vomit
-6:43 AM     Mop MORE vomit
-6:50 AM     Change water from bucket
-6:51 AM     Add bleach to disinfect
-7:07 AM     Check cleanliness of bathrooms
-7:09 AM     Put soap in dispenser
-7:15 AM     Step on gum
-7:25 AM     Removes gum with pencil
-8:00 AM     Classes start
-                   Keep an eye out for messes
-                   and keep bathrooms clean
-12:00 PM  
-                   Lunch and sell weed
-1:00 PM
-1:06 PM      Clean Cafeteria
-2:02 PM      Clean toilets
-2:15 PM      Make the floor of the hallways shine
-2:30 PM      Call ambulance for Mrs. Dulchbell, who slipped on shiny floor
-2:50 PM      Ambulance arrives
-2:55 PM      Put signs that floor is wet
-3:04 PM      Take of shoes and glide on shiny floor
-3:40 PM      Classes end
-4:00 PM      Start picking up trash
-4:10 PM      Mop floors
-4:15 PM      Take trash bags to garbage compactor
-4:17 PM      Go to janitors closet
-4:18 PM      Take out supplies
-4:19 PM      Roll up a rizla
-4:20 PM      Smoke a blunt
-4:30 PM      Apply eye drops
-4:37 PM      Mop vomit
-4:46 PM      Set up mouse traps
-4:57 PM      Put bait in traps
-5:00 PM
-                   Wait for the magic to happen
-5:30 PM     Gather up all the dead rats
-5:40 PM     Throw bag'o rats in garbage compactor
-6:02 PM     End work
-6:10 PM     Stuck in traffic
-6:16 PM     Road rage
-6:50 PM     Get home
-7:00 PM     Grab a cold one and watch Seinfeld
-8:00 PM     After 20, pass out
-
-1:08 AM    Pee like a race horse
-1:16 AM    Back to bed
-
-4:00 AM     Rinse, Repeat!

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Public Restrooms

We all have to agree with this. Going to a public restroom is not fun. It's ALWAYS dirty, unless we are talking about a Hotel. But if you go to a school or college or even work, the restrooms are atrocious! Shit on the floor, shit on the seat, even shit on the walls! What happened to the person before? Did they actually rub their shit on the wall or what? I understand that you can sometimes get drops on the seat, but at least clean it! If these people animals would behave like this in their homes, we wouldn't be going over to watch a game or have a great time. One day I went to the public restroom of my college and did my business and as I was washing my hands, I hear snickering and I turn around and I see two guys walk out of a stall, together. I was repulsed! I tried to tell myself, "They were doing drugs, just drugs..". But we all know that wasn't it.... they were totally rubbing shit on the walls! WTF!!

This is clean compared to the ones in college.

Obviously we all have our own public restrooms stories and I would all like you to share one as a comment!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Groundhog Day

Today is a special day! Today is the day the groundhog decides whether we get winter for 6 more weeks or not If you want to celebrate the day of......today, watch this great movie!

It stars Bill Muray and Andie MacDowell.



I think we got 6 more weeks of winter....

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Old People

Heres a list I have made:
Emperor Palpatine is an example of an old disgusting person, with unlimited power.

-They look like raisins.
-Dangerous Drivers.
-Hands are nasty and veiny (see picture)
-They look at you weird.
-They try to touch you.
-ALWAYS need your help.


Obviously this doesn't apply to your own family of old people, only everyone else's.

Look at this video for a reaction of being scared by an old person:


R.I.P. Oldest Person in the World

The oldest person in the world died at the age of 114.

I'm not gonna put an image on here because old people disgust me, especially super centenarians!

(HINT: My next post will be about old people!)

The Best Of Kicking Rocks

The Pile