Monday, January 31, 2011

Why do people eat mushrooms?

Mushrooms are disgusting! They grow from the ground and they decompose dead things. That mushroom you just ate in your salad had decomposed a dead, rotting crow a week before landing in your salad. You just ate that crow rot! Mushrooms are fungi. Fungi can grow in between your toes. Would you eat that? NOOO!
The only time I allow mushroom eating in my life is only when I am playing a Super Mario game.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

The REAL reason why Hitler chose the Swastika as a Symbol of Power.

So I was bored in my math class, not because I don't like it, but because I already know the material(Mayan Numeral and Hindu-Arabic numeral conversion). I just start doodling on a scrap piece of paper. As soon as I lay my pencil on the paper, my imagination starts running wild! I ended up drawing this:
Hitler in the form of a Swastika.

Yes, I came up with that. But it gets better. It has a historical back story to it.

So Hitler was trying to make a symbol of power he could use for the Nazis. He hired an artist by the name of Shitnzel Schroedenburg. He asked Shitnzel to draw one of his comrades marching with his head(Hitlers Head). He ended up drawing the image you see above. Hitler at first liked it, but thought that the head was in the way and asked the artist to remove it. Shitnzel without any hesitation, takes out his Mauser and shoots the comrade in the head and immediately draws this:
Comrade after his head was shot off by Shitnzel.

So then Hitler says "Nice painting bro!" and then he said it needed more red and shoots Shitnzel because he didn't like his last name. Hitler ends up finishing the painting and it looks a little something like this:

The finished painting by Hitler. (Shitnzel body is on the right.)

Many of you thought that Hitler originally got the idea of the swastika from an Indian Symbol, but with this evidence right here, that rules it out completely.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

How to make a Grilled Charlie

First of all, a Grilled Charlie is a special type of food first heard from the TV show, 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia'. All you hear in the show is 'Cheese on the outside, Butter on the inside, Chocolate on the inside, Peanut butter on the outside."

So from that quote, you must imagine what they were eating!

Ingredients:
-A hotplate or a skillet.
-Two Slices of bread
-Butter
-Cheese (any type will work, I used provolone)
-Chocolate Syrup or Nutella
-Peanut butter

Friday, January 28, 2011

Mosquito Bites

Why are they called that? Mosquito Bites??? They aren't biting you. They are sticking their appendage inside of you and filling you up after sucking you off. It should be called Mosquito Rape.


And not only that, but after they leave, that area in which they raped you starts to itch. You can tell they rape various people per day. They have STD's (Sucking Transmitted Diseases). A very effective way to protect yourself is to use OFF. ------->
This is especially needed if you live in a swamp area, ex. Florida. This spray will keep these lurkers away from you. Also when it rain and you leave a trash can open and all the water accumulates there, that's were they lay their eggs! So go and throw that water away to kills its larvae. We don't need these suckers! So don't give them the option to suck you off!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

BUMS

You better hope Mr. Right shows up!
As a continuation from my old post, I now start on the topic of BUMS. They are making a mess of this city! All they do is ask for money and then waste it on beer, drugs or lotto tickets, and if they don't ask for anything and you offer them something, they go all ape shit on you and throw their feces at you like a monkey in a zoo. Also, I wouldn't sit on a bus bench if I were you. BUMS jack off on those benches while you're sleeping and they rub it all over the bench with newspaper( That's why sometimes it looks glossy clean). So there are some BUMS that walk around for no apparent reason,    ( <---this guy  is one of them). He never asks for anything, he sometimes has food because people give it to him but he is always walking......I've never seen him not walking. I've seen this guy right here since 1999. He hasn't changed a bit. But from he looks of things, he's a crazy ass mother fucker and he's been places. Look him in the eyes and tell me I'm right.








Then we got these type of BUMS that just stand in the street with a sign. It could say 'I need money', or 'Hungry'. But that's when (this guy------------>) comes in. Now that's one cool BUM. First of all he is being honest. Honest people get what they want. If I ever see this guy in the street, I would give him 5$ at least so he can enjoy his life a little.

Public Transportation

Whether it's taking the bus or the subway, public transportation has always been there, even from the beginning of time. But it seems it hasn't improved in all these years! The bus driver is an asshole or the people on the bus smell, there is always something bad. Do they even clean the buses? No, they don't! Roaches spawn all over the bus, so you can't even fall asleep without having a roach crawl on you and lay its eggs in you mouth. Just the thought of that as I typed it made me gag. That is one of the reasons I don't take the bus anymore. Another reason are, BUMS!
FUCKING BUMS and BUS DRIVERS TOO!!!

 That's right homeless people. Yeah, they have certain rights which allow for them to ride the bus, but PLEASE, take a FUCKING SHOWER!!! Don't they realize they smell worst that urinated shit??? I mean my dogs shit smells better than that! One day I was on the bus and I was playing with my gameboy and all of a sudden, my breathing was interrupted. This smell was sooooooooooo bad, I was gagging. As I look up to see what was causing this horrible odor, I notice a BUM had just sat in front of me! The first thing that comes to my mind is, I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE! But I was still far from my house! So I get up and walk to the front. That was a useless tactic because the BUM's smell had made a track from the front of the bus to the end of the bus like a Lightcycle in Tron leaves behind! So I decide to walk the mile. I was totally worth it, not having to suffer through that horrible smell of urinated shit that had been rubbed over him with rotten eggs and a hint of nutmeg and mushrooms. So that's how it is rding public transportation in real life. Now to go on how it is depicted on TV shows and in movies. On a certain TV show called 'It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia', the main female character is depicted riding a bus and it is fulll of people, so she has to stand. The guy in front of her, while standing, vomits on his shirt and smiles. THAT HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE! And if that doesn't happen, he will most likely hit on her! Also, on a recent movie that has caught the attention of many people, 'Black Swan' has a rather interesting scene where she is on the train and an old guy, probably crazy, starts making rude sexual gestures towards her. ALSO HAPPENS IN REAL LIFE! They shouldn't let people like that ride the bus, but now that I don't ride it and I don't give a shit about it anymore, they should keep ALL those people in the bus at ALL TIMES!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

The Duel

At dawn two men shall walk 10 paces away from each other and then turn around and only one will walk away, unscathed like a newborn baby into a world of thorns toward the seemingly never ending reward; Love. As one will belong to nature, the other will live on. To live a life filled with gratitude and sorrow no where near. The other in the ground with only his past life to fear. Quoted the man who won, "I need a beer."

The Best Of Kicking Rocks

The Pile